Home…..

We have spent the past month moving and working on my home. It’s the one that Ed and I were supposed to grow old in. Now Mat and I are trying to start over and build our own memories. This has proven harder than we both thought. Yet I love being here, he too loves it. The possibilities that Ed and I saw here are still here the quiet neighborhood the beautiful peace and quiet there are few places I love this is one I love the most.

We still have a lot of work to do. An entire garage to go through and clean out and reorganize and sell things we don’t want. Yet because I don’t have to do it alone, I think I will be okay. I love Mat for being so brave and saying I’m going to do that with you and mean it. My heart is full and happy. We have talked about getting married next year but have decided that we shouldn’t rush. It feels good to not do that. To do things our way not someone else’s. I think we both for the first time feel like we have a say what happens in our life and neither one of us wants to lose that.

Grief? Well grief is something I have learned you just never stop doing. You really do walk around with a huge scar on your heart and a person on your mind that you know you will not hear from for a very long time. Yet you walk forward and you learn how to honor them in life. You talk about them always, you love them always, and you just know they are with you just in a very different way.

We are looking forward to the holidays and this being our favorite time of year for the first time since Ed has passed it feels like the magic of the season is once again building up. Yes life is still hard, but I am still up and moving and I will continue to do that as long as God blesses me with a sunrise.

Dee