The Acceptance of the Past, and Looking Forward to the Future.

Four times. I have been to a grief group four times. It wasn’t even really a grief group, but it was amazing. It also allowed me to finally nail down some feelings and pushed me to do what I have been tumbling around in my head for a while. Starting my own grief group. So I have thrown it out there and I have set up a time and a place to start. I will let God take control and I will just go where I feel I am needed. It is time to face this with bravery and action and do what I feel I have been called to! Let’s talk about Grief.

If you just cringed or maybe was suddenly tempted to just scroll on, I do not blame you. Who wants to talk about Grief? It is depressing, it is emotional, it is HARD. Yes, it is all of those things, what you don’t know is IT IS HEALTHY. It is vital that we learn how to deal with grief because statistics, and those statistics are scary. “The increased likelihood for a recently widowed person to die—often called the “widowhood effect”—is one of the best documented examples of the effect of social relations on health.¹ The widowhood effect has been found among men and women of all ages throughout the world.^2–5 Recent longitudinal studies put the excess mortality of widowhood (compared with marriage) among the elderly between 30% and 90% in the first 3 months and around 15% in the months thereafter.^1,6–8 These estimates are comparable across various statistical methodologies, including multivariate models that statistically control for a wide range of confounding factors,^1,6,8,9 prompting increasing confidence in a causal basis of the widowhood effect.^6,8,10,11” says Felix Elwert, PhD and Nicholas A Christakis, MD, PhD, MPH in their article published on the National Library of Medicine. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2636447/#:~:text=The%20widowhood%20effect%20has%20been,all%20ages%20throughout%20the%20world.&text=Recent%20longitudinal%20studies%20put%20the,15%25%20in%20the%20months%20thereafter.

Are you as surprised as I was? Let me tell you walking the road of widowhood is not one that anyone wants to do. But I feel those numbers represent the effect of loss on us humans especially when we lose the person whom we are so close with. Thus I believe that it is simply time to teach how to deal with loss. This is no easy feat, as I have no education in counseling, nor phycology. But what I do have is the ability to do research, make calls to established counselors that I know, and the willingness to dive in and do the work to help people. This is my way to give back. It may be a total failure, but it also could be the start of something fantastic and much needed. I no longer fear the grief, but will embrace the path of healing. And sometimes it is as simple as asking, “how are you doing?” and truly mean it. I can do this because I have this feeling in my bones that it is what I am meant to do.

-Dee