I Finally Know…….It’s Me.

I have been writing off and on in this blog for five years. Five years! I have not always been consistent but life gets busy, or I just don’t know what to say. But in the past week, I have come to realize something. After my husband passed I felt like I had no idea who I was. My whole world was taking care of him and my family. I have spent the past five years looking for me. Just in the past month I have found me again. In the months before that, I started asking myself. What do I like? I then began to list them, and suddenly I found me.

The List

If you asked my family they would start with the same statement. She loves Christmas! I do! I believe in Christmas magic and how new beginnings can start during Christmas. I also know why that is. I married Edward on December 6th. It started an amazing life and I loved that life. But my love for Christmas started way before that. For me growing up it was the only time of the year that life felt optimistic. I Love Christmas. For every part of it. The Christmas decor the music. The Christmas programs, and church functions. The big Christmas light displays, the bustling people all excited to give gifts to their family. The food and company parties. The parties that are thrown by friends. It really is my favorite time of the year.

I also love being outdoors. I sit out by my fire pit, or go for walks. Lately I have really wanted to try hiking. Now I live in Oklahoma and places to actually hike are not really around here. There is one place, and I will keep going there. As the first two times I’ve gone I haven’t got to actually do the hike. I hope the trails open up soon. When I went on Saturday, they had signs up saying “hunters register here.” So I’m guessing they are allowing some controlled hunting in the area. But I still got to hike a little ways. I got some amazing pictures. That is the next thing I learned.

I love to take pictures of all kinds of things. People, landscapes, still life. And while I may not be perfect or the best, I love it and that is all that matters. So I thought I would share some of what I got with you!

I love rain that is gentle rain falling with rolling thunder. I have always loved that though. Do I know why? No, I just do. Maybe like someone who is from the north that loves to watch the snow softly come down. I like that too but we just don’t get all that much snow anymore.

I love to read while it is raining, with a huge cup of coffee or hot chocolate. I also love writing. I love music and movies, though not scary ones! And I have started a music playlist of songs that I like. Not ones that I think mean something to someone else, or because someone thought I should like them.

I am caring and kind and love to laugh. That is only part of who I am and while I still learning. I have decided one thing. I no longer want someone to influence what I do or don’t like. I can say that isn’t for me and not feel bad for it.

Moving Forward…..

I am sure there are things that I will still learn about myself, but the biggest thing is, I am evolving into someone new all the time. And while life is always changing then so too will I as long as I am open to changes. That is what makes me happy.

What about you? What do you know about yourself? Do you like a challenge? Do you let others truly influence you? What is the one thing that makes you simply you?