Tag: halloween

The Tradition

Halloween has always been one of my families favorite holidays. Why? Well for my kids who have always had amazing costumes. It is a time to get to dress up and pretend to be someone else. A hero, an actor, who ever! It’s also about the candy. I mean they are kids. For me it is the start of what I call the magic of the holidays. It always felt so magical this time of year, and each week and celebration all seems to add up to the magic of Christmas. This year I spent all week thinking it just will not be the same. It wasn’t but it was. You see my son had told me a few weeks ago that a few friends would be coming over and they would be going out to trick or treat together.

All week long I kept telling myself that I should do extra chores to make sure the house was perfect for when his friends were here. Not that my home is really messy. I mean when you can have a perfectly cleaned home in half an hour it can’t really be all that messy right? Anyways, as Halloween got closer the more I just didn’t want to do anything. Why? Because in my heart of hearts I just knew that this year would be sad for me. Because we live almost out of town we get very few kids. Honestly if I got one it would be a record. The last few years my son has done this tradition with his friends. They all meet up and go out together while I’m stuck at home eating most of the candy that I bought. This year I figured it would be no different. Well school ended and so did football practice and I get the call. “Hey mom the crew is ready to be picked up.”

I tell him okay I’ll be there in just a few. I have an amazing job that allows me to leave work and pick him up every day. Usually they practice until five, today they got out a little early. So I went to pick up the “crew.” When I pulled into the school parking lot, there they were. These four very different boys. They are all unique in their own way and I love them all. We laugh and giggle and make jokes as we stuff all four of them into my very small car. It’s a small town and we don’t live far from the school. I get them home and drop them off with the promise that I will be back after work with soda, popcorn, and fixings for our traditional Chicken Noodle dinner. They happily waved and walked into our home. My heart strings tugged, and yet I pulled away with one thought. God allowed my husband to pass for what ever reason, I am not sure. But what I am sure of, is he put these boys into my life for a reason too and my heart is filled with joy and love. So as I head to work I did something I don’t normally do. I prayed, not to ask for anything, just simply to say thank you. I may have lost one love, yet there is still so much more out there.

After work I went to two stores to get all the things for dinner and hurried home. I called to let my son know I’m on my way and asked him to meet me outside to carry the groceries in. I pulled in and out came all four boys laughing and joking , grabbing all the groceries. It made my heart filled with love even more. They bring them in and while laughing and talking they put them away. Working together as a team. Then my son asks me hey did you get my text? I told him no. Well he had asked me to pick up his girlfriend on the way home. I told him sorry buddy I missed that one. I’ll go get her now. So I was off again. As I’m heading across our little town, I thought about all the years when my girls were little. The tradition of going over to grandma Rhea’s house for Halloween. Grandma Rhea lived in the “fancy” neighborhood in town and it really was where everyone went to trick or treat. I miss those years so much and I miss walking around with my little ones. It was such a sorrow of knowing that part of life was over for me, and I just knew it was a part that I dearly love.

I picked up the girlfriend and head back home. When we walk in the house is loud and filled with the noise of boys. (if you are the mom of a boy you know this noise especially if you have more than one.) The girlfriend who is a classmate joins in and assures me that these boys are exactly like this in school. I’m thinking to myself, they may need to double the pay of our teachers. So I cook and visit with everyone and just love this socializing that they do and that they bring me into so easily. I also do the dishes that I didn’t do the night before because I’ve had my own mental battles this week. Not once did someone make a comment about how clean or unclean the house is. Except the girlfriend who said “wow, your house is nice!” This made my heart swell because we have worked very hard on the house and we are proud of it.

All too soon it was time for them to go out. But one says, “hey I need to get some pictures, my mom will kill me if I don’t.” So we go outside for the traditional group picture. there is a slight twinge in my heart as I wonder will this be the last one. They are getting older. I keep waiting for them to say goodbye and head off. Then my son says, “Okay mom are we taking the truck?” as he scrambles to help find a hoodie for his girlfriend as the weather has really cooled off. I stare at him as if I didn’t understand what he was saying. “The truck?” I asked. “Yeah, you know you gotta drive us around!”

I can’t even begin to tell you the joy that leaped into my heart. “Oh yes!” I say as I head inside to put on shoes and grab the truck key. As I head to my car to grab my wallet, I snap a picture and send it to all my friends. “The smile this mom has when her son says, ‘you have to drive us around mom!” This very small part of me seemed to just vibrate right into place. I was not being left out, I was a part of the tradition. I also went and told my daughter who lives with us, that she too needed to come. Tonight no one would be left out. As we put down the tailgate and load everyone into the back of the truck my son says, “mom we have more to pick up in front of the pizza place.” I tell him okay and with me driving and my daughter riding shot-gun, and a truck bed filled with these amazing kids we headed off.

As we go down the street my son calls me and says that his girlfriends mom would like it if we stopped at their house so she could see them all. Of course we can! No one is left out tonight. We stop in front of the pizza shop and pick up one and then take off to his girlfriends home. We get there and we all jump out of the truck. There is laughter and greetings. As we are standing there visiting and letting her take pictures, another group joins in. A large group with whom I’ve never met. But they all know each other, and more laughter and visiting. Suddenly I hear “we are going with Mickey!” and our total is now increased by five more. We all load back into the truck and off we head slowly to the good neighborhood where it is an easy park and walk and you can get a ton of candy. Suddenly I realized that this was the very thing my heart had quietly hoped for all week. Just one more year out with my kids, enjoying the place that we call home. It was a fantastic evening. Yet it wasn’t over.

After it gets dark we wrap up the trick or treating. We drop quite a few off with parents, and then head home with all the kids I started out with. We make one more stop at our neighbors who is the grandparents of one of the girls that has joined us. On our way back to the house my son’s girlfriend calls her mom to let her know that we would be eating dinner then watching a movie. No not a scary one! Then my son does something even more amazing, he invites her mom over for dinner.” Please come and join us if you would like to.” Her mom, teases him a little and asks are you sure because that kind of sounds like you don’t really want me to. In which he says, “In Oklahoma that is the polite way to invite someone, because if you do not feel like coming you can say thank you but maybe next time. If you don’t want to.” He is right in my family the come and join if you would like to part is a polite way invite someone who may have plans and can’t make it, that way they don’t feel obligated to say yes, and not feeling guilty for saying no. In the end she agreed to join us and advised that she would be there in a bit. Then we head inside for a chicken and noodle feast that warms the heart and the soul.

Chicken noodles, mashed potatoes, and rolls. Served pipping hot and made with love. A knock on the door signals that the mom has arrived and she is warmly greeted by all. We then usher everyone to the table. Including the mom who insists that she shouldn’t because she was not included in the count for dinner and wanted to make sure there is enough for everyone. My son and I both assure her that there is plenty. We sit and visit and laugh and just have this amazing connection. This is family. Those boys and girls they all know they are welcomed in my home and now that the girlfriend’s mom has joined in, she too knows that we are family here and I hope she feels that too.

We talk about the proper way to eat chicken and noodles in Oklahoma. Like gravy on top of mashed potatoes. Now they are not from the south they are from the north and this just seems so odd to them. But the mom tries it anyways. Yet just like all the individuals at the table we all eat them different ways. One boy doesn’t care for CK&N as he says his mom makes it all winter long. So he fills his bowl up with the potatoes and asks for some cheese and has that for dinner. Another says that even though he is from Oklahoma, he doesn’t care for his to be mixed and only eats the CK&N. We all laugh and the only thought I had was not only was the food warm and filling, our souls got filled too. It truly helped me understand the real meaning of soul food. Because not only did it feed the body, it fed every soul there too. Soon though the dinner was complete and it was time to call it a night. I have work in the morning and I really do need my rest. We hug everyone say good night, and with that, we settle down.

I still have not stopped smiling. I have had the best Halloween that I’ve had in years. I swear that my husband was out there with us as Halloween was his favorite night of the year. Mainly because of nights like these. His mom and his aunt always made Halloween special for him. With tales of toilet paper and shaving cream that the moms throw on them one time. I’m telling you they had some amazing stories together and I miss listening to them laugh and tell them. But I hope that tonight, sticks with my son and his memory. So that one day while sitting as a family having CK&N on Halloween, he will tell the stories of all the things we did on Halloween nights.

-Dee