About two months ago the ladies I work with started something that has really caught on. We have ladies only dinner night. It started out with just us at work but it has grown to a large group of friends, even my adult daughters go. This has become a weekly dinner for us. Yes I said weekly. I know what you are thinking. That is a big commitment. Here is the thing. We know that everyone has a busy life. With kids and spouses and ex-spouses and all the other distractions of life. Yet what we women tend to forget is that we have needs too. Those needs include feeling connected to others. What we have learned doing this is that it is not always fair to go home every day and depend on your spouse to always be there for you. We have learned that most men want to come home and just check out. As one put it to me the other day, I don’t want to come home and talk. My talking hours are from eight to five, by the end of the day I’m all talked out. I felt terrible for his wife, who works a job where she doesn’t talk, for most of the day. It got me thinking, most jobs women have, do not require a lot of adult talking. They require professional responses and all the thoughts that come and go through a woman’s mind just do not have a place to go. So they build up and when they get home the only person they have to listen to is the spouse. Or the pet. Let me tell you my cat is no fun at all. He thinks all my ideas are bad unless it includes me scratching behind his ear. So we started “Ladies Night”. A bunch of women who get together and talk about everything. I mean EVERYTHING. Yes even sex is talked about a lot. We realize that we probably talk and think about sex just as much if not more than a man does. We have just been raised in a society that it is not proper for a woman to talk about it. Why is that? Men do and it is acceptable. Let me tell you what, it is healthy to talk about it. Women should not feel ashamed to say they want to be intimate with their spouse or lover or some random person they just met.
What we should be taught is where it is okay to talk about things like that. In a safe group of women where you are not looked down on is the perfect place to talk about such things. It is a place where questions can be asked and tips given, and more importantly it teaches our young women that it is a healthy part of a marriage. Yet there is a deeper conversation going on at this table. It is on a deeper level and you only hear it if you really listen. No not a conversation about sex, that is the outside conversation. The one that causes all the laughter and smiles and noise. No the real conversation is quieter, it lies underneath all of the noise.
The real conversation going on is women encouraging each other to live. To be themselves, to do what she deems impossible. Sometimes it is to let someone go, or to fight for the one they love. It isn’t about work because work doesn’t really get brought up. No it’s about women being women, and how nice it is to just go and have one drink with the girls and laugh. To relax, to not have to worry about dinner for the evening. We know that school may change what we do, but for now the dinners provide something we need. Someone besides our spouse, or in my case my boyfriend, to talk to.
If you are feeling lonely and you have lost your way or you feel forgotten. Here is our advice. 1) Remember who you are at your core. 2) Exercise. Even if it is just walking around the block or even down the damn block. Do it for you because you are worth it. If it is hard trust it, one day it will be easy and the only thing you will struggle with is to remember what life was like before. 3) Pray. If you don’t pray then meditate, find a way to bring peace and quiet into your life. This is just as important as exercise. 4) You control your thoughts think positive. Call it manifestation, prayer, or whatever other fancy word you want. We all know Karma’s a bitch and she will knock you on your knees every chance she gets. Stop being negative about yourself, and about others. The world is full of negative already, it doesn’t need you to add to it. Be positive. 5) Change will suck as long as you let it. It is your perspective that decides what change really is. Stop being control freaks! Let change make you a better person. 6) Accept people for who they are. You will find that being around people who are exactly like you will drive you crazy. People who are different than you will make you grow as a person. They will be your favorite people in this world. 7) Find something worth fighting for. Love, relationships, family, life. This is where your purpose lies. If it is worth fighting for then it is because you are passionate for it. We are not all passionate about the same things, some of us will have simple passions. Others will have big passions. One is not better than the other. The small are just as important as the big, all are worth fighting for. 8) Love. Love yourself, your family, your place in life, the people in your life, that is where feeling rich comes from. Even the wealthiest people feel alone, while the poorest feel like they have it all. Because they are surrounded by love. Love is everything.
So rather you are a man or a woman, find your group, go to dinner. Laugh, argue, tease, love, be a family. That is what living is all about. If you’re ever in Oklahoma give me a shoutout, you are welcomed at our table anytime. Just be ready to get teased, to hear about sex, to laugh, but mostly be ready to be loved.
The Journey of a Lioness 
Seems a fun way to unwind.
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