Just Be There……

Everyone has bad days. Where things just didn’t go as we thought it should. I grew up wanting to be one of those people who just went on the fly. No plans no agenda, just free. I am not that kind of person. I like to have a good idea on how my day is going to go, and when it doesn’t go that way, I tend to react just like everyone else. As much as I hate to admit it, I too get in a mood when things don’t go as planned. What I have learned is that sometimes even plan B and C need to be scratched. I would like to think that I go from irritated to problem solving mode. I’m not sure that I do that. I often wonder how people who are always in a situation where they are forced to make decisions in just mere minuets. Emergency Doctors, Military leaders these people make life and death decisions every day. What about you? What is your reaction when things don’t go as planned?

I have also learned recently that always being there for someone is really important. I always wanted that in my life. What I have learned is most people trade energy for energy. If you are there for them then they will show up for you. Having that person you can count on, that is so reassuring. The catch is knowing when it’s okay to be there and when someone needs space. I can give space. It is not always easy for me as I have this terrible habit of wanting to fix things for people that I love. You can’t always fix somethings. Thus, I have had to learn to step back and give them space. Their feelings are their own and sometimes space is what someone needs. They have to go through an uncomfortable time so that they can grow. It doesn’t seem fair. After all if you can save someone shouldn’t you? Then my best friend said something that made perfect sense. We are not meant to be superhero’s. We are meant to love and sometimes that love means we let go and we let someone we love fail. As we learn more from failure. No one likes to fail, but one should once in a while so that we learn what we are suppose to.

My best friend is in the middle of some bad days. While I am not sure of everything going on, I think I could help. Yet he has not asked for help and I dare not ask him about it. I will just give him space to figure out what he needs to do. I have made the offer to help but you can’t force someone. All I can do is be there should he need me. It’s what happens when you are determined to be there for someone.

If I have learned anything from losing Ed it is what a real friend is. Most importantly how to be that best friend and be supportive to people who share your energy. I use to think I was a good friend and had good friends, no what I did was people pleasing. I dropped everything for people whom I believed was my friends. Yet when I needed them they didn’t even answer the phone. That is not friendship. It is convenience for them. Only if they have time for me or if they are left with no one else and they don’t want to be alone. At one time I was so sure that was what friendship was. It isn’t. What I have learned is that is a narcissistic person looking for someone to feed their ego and someone like me is going to do that. Because I’m that supportive friend. I am no longer that friend. Because I choose not to be. If I can’t be honest with someone and tell them what I really think or how I feel then I’m not being a friend. And I now see how much I have grown as a person.

My best friend tells me all the time how much I have changed since we met. At first I couldn’t see it. I can now. I feel it. The higher vibration. The self confidence and knowing what boundaries I have that is what has changed and I love knowing who I am and what I stand for. I am someone’s best friend. That is everything.

-Dee