spirituality – The Journey of a Lioness

Recently I have been in discussions with a wonderful group of women about manifesting. One idea was brought up that I found so interesting. Are we manifesting the right way? We talked about what we think about when we manifest. I had always thought about specific things. Like down to what a person or a home or what it would be like flying all over the world making appearances at book signings. Those were the thoughts in my head envisioning my deepest desires. Yet a question was put forth. What if we didn’t manifest actual objects that we wanted but the feelings those objects gave and represented?

This one question I have pondered for almost a month now. Let me give you the idea behind it. When I sit to manifest what finding what I believe true love is, I listed things like, would have a good career, a nice vehicle, he would see that I may need something and he would provide, because he didn’t want me to do without. He would want to make my life easier. He would provide the safety and stability that I long for. He would also show up. He would want to do things with me spend time with me go and travel and see the world. That is what I believed was the way to manifest him. Yes in a way it is, but the idea put forth isn’t the actions, it is the feelings.

The idea says okay you have in your mind the perfect guy for you, how does he make you FEEL? What if we dumped all the actions and just looked at the feelings? What are those feelings I long to have? This is where it becomes hard. Those feelings are difficult because my initial reaction is to say I want to feel loved. That is too wide of a net to cast. Because you can feel loved and also not feel safe. Love is a heart matter and you can love someone and not want to be with them. So narrow that love feeling down even more. What is it? It is the feeling that I have yet to experience so I am going to do my best here and talk about what I believe it is. I believe it is someone who makes you feel safe, not just physically but also mentally. Someone you can depend on being there for you, supporting your dreams, your desires, and your goals. The person who sees you having a bad day and is willing to do whatever it takes to make the day just a bit easier. They see you struggle and they do something about it. Even if it is running a hot bath and telling you, get in and relax. That is love. The desire to make someone’s life not so dang hard. Its knowing you come first. That is what I want to manifest. That feeling of someone always there for you.

What is the feeling of the new home? That feeling is really that of a successful career. Of making sound finical decisions and once again finding the stable life. I know from experience life isn’t always going to be easy. It will knock you down and kick you. You have to get up. You have to find the inner strength to rise and start again. So many people scream I don’t want to start over, yet only by being forced to do it, can you learn that it can be done. That is the feeling of the new home. Of the bravery to go for something big and getting it.

What is the feeling of the flying over the world? That is the grandest thing. It is the feeling of chasing a dream so hard that it comes true. It is keeping the promise to that little kid when you said I know your dream and I will make it come true. It is keeping that promise. It is knowing that I have my own back and I will do the things that make me happy because I put me first.

I spent New Years Eve in a very odd place. Questioning everything, and realizing the only person who can make this happen is me. I have the desire, the dream, and the capability to make them come true. I have manifested in an odd sort of way and watched every single thing that happened come true. But because I questioned if I deserved the things I was focusing on. So the universe showed me that yes it does work. I saw them for myself. The smallest things that there was no way someone could guess I set for myself. All of them every single one of them came to pass.

It is time to stop dipping my toes in the water and hoping the water is warm. No it is time to jump off the cliff and not give a damn about the water, because the universe wants to give me the longing of my heart, I just have to stop getting in its way. I have to stop settling for what seems to be the closest thing, and go for it all.

Thus, I am going to take the idea and put it to the test. A good old scientific research and test. What happens if you concentrate on the feelings of what you are trying to manifest, and let go of the surface and materialistic aspect of manifesting? Will that open a whole new world for you? Because you went deeper than what appears on the outside and began to really fulfill the needs of your innermost self?

Wish me luck in this experiment. I am giving myself a year. I am just days away from completing the staying single for a year. Now is the time to do something that has never been done. It is time to put myself first.

What about you? Have you ever tried to manifest something? Was it the item itself? Or was it a feeling? How did it come to you or did it even? I need data to understand exactly what manifesting looks like to others. I need the results to verify did you get exactly what you wanted or was it close enough? I look forward to this year, it will be very different.

-Dee

I am not what most people define as “normal”. I am not a TV watcher, or a social media connoisseur. I mean I have most of the popular apps. But my participation in those apps is more like a ghost standing in the background. Watching everyone else live while I just try to breathe. A friend shared a video about how our body vibrates. And the way we speak to ourselves makes a huge difference in those vibrations. I have seen and heard many videos on this topic. The more I watched the more I began to wonder. Is there truth behind all the talk? Then I realized that was all it was, talk. Hours of videos with claims on how to change your perception your place in life and even your finical situation all by simply “thinking” the right way. There are so many names for it, meditation, manifesting, gratitude focus. All seem too simple to do. Yet, there were not really answers on how to do them. Most say oh just buy this app or pay for this subscription or “master class” and you will have it all at your fingertips. My intuition screamed one thing, it is never that simple or easy and why is the person who is “teaching” the class not the one “teaching” the skill required to accomplish the “dream”. It just feels like someone selling snake oil.

My Hesitation

Snake Oil. The cunning good looking man or woman who claims just one sip will cure all your ailments. Honestly that is what those videos seem to be. Of course their life changed. They are making millions selling the solutions to everyone’s problems. Yet the logical Capricorn part of me screams “if that really was the true cure, why isn’t everyone cured already?” So please pardon me if I don’t jump on your van wagon. Don’t worry there are only hundreds more wagons coming along, but I’m not going to jump on those either….Or so I thought.

The thing about a Capricorn, is we are curious and we love to learn. And that curiosity is what could be the death or maybe the life of me. No I didn’t pay for the class, or joined the APP. But I did watch all the videos and inferred the gist of them. That gist? Move. Put action to your ideas, stop letting negative thoughts control me. Like constantly telling myself “I feel so alone.” What is the cure for being alone? Making friends.

Time to Experiment

I love sitting outside by my fire pit and reading a book or just watching the stars and listening to music. I would tell myself that “this is how I recharge for the next day.” Yet after listening to some of these “new mindset” videos, I began to question do I really feel recharged after that? I mean I had yet to feel the energy that the people in the videos were talking about. Sitting alone just increased the feeling of being lonely. Not talking to anyone all day at work then not talking all night increased that feeling of lonely. I realized it is the stair steps down to the pit of depression.

So what could I do? It was time to do some experiments. Remember I am an introvert, so just inviting people over is not in my comfort zone. So I began to look on some social media apps. I will not say which one I landed on but I ended up in a small group chat. Talking about the very thing I had been researching. Our inner vibrations our energies. We talked about what we believed and got a little into some personal details. Suddenly logging in at the end of my day has become what I look forward to! I set a time limit for myself and have done nothing but the past few days but end my day with laughter, people who encourage each other to reach goals and feeling that genuine emotion of not being lonely.

The next part of the experiment was to pay more attention to your environment. I work hard to keep my home clean and friendly feeling. This helps me wake up with joy. My home is my sanctuary and it feels safe and peaceful. So if someone just stops by, it doesn’t cause stress. It is a joy to share my home.

I also started paying attention to the outside environment. For instance, when I go into a store, does it suddenly seem like a lot of people come in after me? Now this is where a positive mindset comes in. The focusing in on being me and knowing I am a good kind person and believing that people are drawn to that. The result, I noticed it many times, I would be the only person that would be in the parking lot. I would go in and not long later I would run into six different people all who came in after me. Now I know I live in a small town and this could just be coincidence. So more experimentation is required but I did easily notice it.

The Results So Far

I am just starting this experiment, yet the last two days there is a difference in me. The first one I have noticed is a negative one. I tend to spend way more time on my phone right before I go to sleep. This has disrupted my sleep tremendously. I can fall asleep easily but staying asleep lately has been a huge challenge and I end up wide awake for at least two hours in the middle of the night death scrolling on my phone.

The solution? I am going to have to join the conversation way earlier, instead of right before I go to sleep. That way I can have that hour before sleep without the blue light. I am hoping that fixes the issue.

The next change has been in me. I can tell I vibrate differently. That feeling that those videos talked about. I believe I found it. I am making friends outside of work and outside of a “serious relationship”. I am learning to just listen, to laugh with others and in some way not take life so seriously. This has changed my vibration. I feel excited for my day and I look forward to the evenings. These people let me be who I am and that creates this excitement of what is going to be said tonight! It actually did not really come to me until the past two days that I feel different.

I finally understand what these experts were talking about “vibrating differently.” Because I feel this crazy excitement about my day. I stepped out and I got out of my comfort zone and I connected with perfect strangers. Suddenly I feel like I can do anything and taking that leap has paid off. Yes it has cost some sleep but I know the solution to that and have a plan in place. Now alone or in a group, I feel alive. So I am stepping out and starting the next journey. Time to write and time to start that podcast that I have been dreaming of. Time to leap!

-Dee

PS: Just one question. Have you ever tried something like this? Did it redefine you or did it just help bring out who you really are? I can’t wait to hear!

Tag: spirituality

Manifesting

Transforming Vibration: My Journey to Connection

My Hesitation

Time to Experiment

The Results So Far